''Do what needs to be done, not what you'’d rather do.' '' (J. Willard Marriott, Jr.[Marriott Corp. CEO]: A Time to Every Purpose", Ensign, Oct. 1982)
How appropriate are those words on the last day of my television fast?!
31 days of no TV has been an overwhelming personal success, but still, somehow, bittersweet. Sweet, because by turning off the tube I have been able to accomplish so much more, bitter because of what it says about me and TV. A part of me was hoping, expecting even, that the end result would have shown that, sure I could stand to cut out some TV but that my TV-watching habit wasn't that bad. Instead what it's shown is that, indisputably, I spend way too much time watching other people at work (I have to constantly remind myself those actors have already been paid for the show I'm tuned to).
I also have to call to mind the reason I took up this endeavor in the first place. It was after spending half of a Saturday watching Khloe and Lamar. Khloe and Lamar! I don't watch any of the Kardashians, yet after channel surfing I was somehow drawn in and watched a marathon of them. What's really sad is that I had been home 24/7 for a full week with the kids (summertime no less), and Saturday was supposed to be my reprieve. And with the hubby home, a sunny day ahead of me, you would think I would have headed out to seize the day. No, I was sitting on the couch watching a Kardashian. That was when I knew that something had to change. And the truth is, 90 percent of the shows I watch, probably wouldn't be watched if a) the power to record them didn't exist b) I didn't channel surf.
The fact that I have accomplished a lot during this month of no television is an understatement. Not only did I finish editing a novel I've been working on, I also tackled several children's stories. I'm teaching myself about bookbinding (hmmm, thinking Christmas gifts), I built my own bookbinding jig, I'm teaching myself Adobe InDesign, I even tried my hand at illustrations (though I realize I don't have the skill set, I still tried). The reality is that had I continued watching television this month--had I not completely sworn off it--I doubt I would be celebrating anything. I think I would be approaching September praying for some time to get something done.
In the past, projects remained unfinished because I never had the time to dedicate to them. At night, after the kids went to bed, there would be an internal struggle deciding what project would be tackled. But suddenly when I cut out TV, during the day I'm taking care of 2 or 3 of the smaller projects, leaving time at night for another one.
Last year, when the kids were in school, around 3:30 I would resign myself and think, the kids are going to be home soon, I can't finish [insert project name here], I might as well watch [fill in show's name here]. And I would sit down and watch the show. Now when the time approaches 3:30, I'm think, wow, I have enough time to start/work on/complete [fill in project's name here]!
My mindset has truly changed about television. Around the middle of the month I couldn't wait to be able to turn the TV back on. I was waiting for this self-imposed restriction to be lifted. I was longing for my familiar shows, or some days I just needed a break. Now that September first is tomorrow, I have no immediate plans to turn on the TV except to deselect most of the shows set to record. I'm going to have to set limits for myself the way I do with the kids.
While I hate the restrictiveness of a no-TV month, I appreciate the discipline, so much so I'm thinking of making September no-Junk Food month.
Any takers?
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Days 15-22
I mentioned before that I unplugged the television set that is in our upstairs playroom, that being said, there is no real hard and fast rule for the kids against TV. Every time I think about plugging the set back in, the kids are playing so nicely (with a board game, with cards), or doing something creative that I don't see the point in interrupting their productivity.
But the other day everyone was outside and the older kids were being mean to Addisen (they made up a rule that kids under 2-ft couldn't be a part of whatever they were doing, although, mind you, Addisen is 3-ft 2-inches), anyhoo, I put on the tube since she had no one to play with. After a while the older kids started trickling in. They were happy and surprised that the TV was on. But then, even before the dvd they were watching was done the boys said, "Okay, I'm going back outside." This is a big deal. Because even outside of no-TV month and an unplugged television set, we are not a family big on TV. So when the TV is on, the kids tend to be relentless about it. Since they can't watch on weekdays (during school days) it usually turns into an all-day Saturday television fest, which then causes us to unplug the TV (TV watching in our house is very cyclical).
The fact that the kids at this point, even in the midst of a program, can disengage is a true testament to what can happen when we break the habit we call TV watching.
But the other day everyone was outside and the older kids were being mean to Addisen (they made up a rule that kids under 2-ft couldn't be a part of whatever they were doing, although, mind you, Addisen is 3-ft 2-inches), anyhoo, I put on the tube since she had no one to play with. After a while the older kids started trickling in. They were happy and surprised that the TV was on. But then, even before the dvd they were watching was done the boys said, "Okay, I'm going back outside." This is a big deal. Because even outside of no-TV month and an unplugged television set, we are not a family big on TV. So when the TV is on, the kids tend to be relentless about it. Since they can't watch on weekdays (during school days) it usually turns into an all-day Saturday television fest, which then causes us to unplug the TV (TV watching in our house is very cyclical).
The fact that the kids at this point, even in the midst of a program, can disengage is a true testament to what can happen when we break the habit we call TV watching.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Days 11-14
A Saturday at home with no TV while making pancakes was weird. It was weird because making pancakes is a boring task, and since it's a sleep-in-late day for all non-pancake makers it was pretty quiet as well. So many times I move purely by rote that it's easy on a Saturday morning to stretch out my arms and pick up the remote. And turning on the tube on a lonely Saturday morning has been just that, a habit. It's impossible to do other things like reading or writing while cooking because it's easy to get caught up in the work and forget, and there is nothing worse than having a plate full of burnt, inedible pancakes.
But once again, determined to succeed, I fought against the grain, and am more than mildly pleased. There is this familiar concept of 'how-to;' and you can 'how-to' your way to just about anything. But since projects are almost never pressing, it's hard to find the time to dedicate to learning something new. But alas that is what I did during my Saturday morning while making pancakes. In the same way that I could watch a reality show, I could learn how to do something I've always wanted to learn. And since the internet is filled with so many people and so many ideas, and is not scripted, it's not as compelling to sit and watch it all day. Although it is very easy to go from video to video, the segments tend to be really short, and you know what? You actually learn something.
I still have to work on what should be considered legitimate downtime versus perceived downtime. Kids yelling and screaming that they want third morning snack or that someone hit them or that they're bored even though they took out 5, million-pieced toys and didn't put them away, is not necessarily a reason to resign myself on the couch. Five days of writing morning 'til night with housekeeping and child-rearing thrown in for good measure may be. But certainly not this month.
But once again, determined to succeed, I fought against the grain, and am more than mildly pleased. There is this familiar concept of 'how-to;' and you can 'how-to' your way to just about anything. But since projects are almost never pressing, it's hard to find the time to dedicate to learning something new. But alas that is what I did during my Saturday morning while making pancakes. In the same way that I could watch a reality show, I could learn how to do something I've always wanted to learn. And since the internet is filled with so many people and so many ideas, and is not scripted, it's not as compelling to sit and watch it all day. Although it is very easy to go from video to video, the segments tend to be really short, and you know what? You actually learn something.
I still have to work on what should be considered legitimate downtime versus perceived downtime. Kids yelling and screaming that they want third morning snack or that someone hit them or that they're bored even though they took out 5, million-pieced toys and didn't put them away, is not necessarily a reason to resign myself on the couch. Five days of writing morning 'til night with housekeeping and child-rearing thrown in for good measure may be. But certainly not this month.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Days 8-10
I did finally tackle the laundry, and had the kids put them away! And I must say, I am actually surprised by how much faster I got through them. I knew without television it would be quicker, I just didn't realize how much quicker. In the past if I started folding around 1 or 2pm, by 7pm I would still be folding, clothes would be spread out on the floor still waiting to be put away, and there would be 1, maybe 2 more bags that I hadn't gotten to. But without TV, by 5 pm I was finished with everything. I'm talking 6 bags of clothes (although there is one more load in the dryer, but I'm saving that for next week.) It's a record I'm not even sure I want to admit to because it underscores just how time consuming watching and folding can be.
Now I didn't post on Monday or Tuesday because, even to me, it started to sound a bit redundant: You can get more done with no TV. It started to feel like a duh moment; like, "Hey I'm much healthier now that I started exercising." All together now, "Duh!" So I even thought about moving to weekly updates, seven day stretches, and checking in with a quick shout out of, "Still hanging in there. Keeping the tube off and getting more work done, blah, blah, blah." The only problem is that I forgot about the dreaded business travel. The four or five days the hubby isn't home to tag me out and relieve me.
So on this second day of the nonstop 24-hour shift, I almost broke down. I was so close to throwing my hands up and turning on the TV. And I realize, this is it, this is the reason I started watching more and more television to begin with. The kids are too young to leave on their own, it's too much trouble to take them over to their grandparent's home, and it's too costly for a babysitter. So my escape was to become intimate with the lives of those on television. Fiction or reality. In fact I started watching The Office (favorite show in the world) because when it first aired I was at home with three babies; and it was so much like a job I once had (factory and all), that it was like I was at work, except at a much cooler and funnier workplace, and I was drawn into it.
There is a little boy who is fairly new to our neighborhood who keeps wanting to come into our home. I told him a number of times that I didn't know his mother and therefore couldn't accept that responsibility. Well yesterday he went and got his mother, she told me he said, "Mom you have to come, she won't let me in until you come over!" Even she was seeking a break, and if all she needed to do was to walk a few hundred feet and shake hands, she was going to do it. In the past all I needed was the remote control.
But I haven't given in yet, and believe me I'm fighting hard. First I told myself that I hadn't factored in out-of-town travel and therefore the contract with myself was null and void. Then I thought about just watching TV and lying about it. Then I told myself to just give up, who cares whether I watch TV or not? But there's a reason I decided to take a break from all kinds of visual stimulants, which--I had to remind myself--could have been done anyway without blogging about it. But I guess I knew somewhere in the recess of my mind that it would be a challenge and knew I needed accountability.
Here's to not giving in.
Now I didn't post on Monday or Tuesday because, even to me, it started to sound a bit redundant: You can get more done with no TV. It started to feel like a duh moment; like, "Hey I'm much healthier now that I started exercising." All together now, "Duh!" So I even thought about moving to weekly updates, seven day stretches, and checking in with a quick shout out of, "Still hanging in there. Keeping the tube off and getting more work done, blah, blah, blah." The only problem is that I forgot about the dreaded business travel. The four or five days the hubby isn't home to tag me out and relieve me.
So on this second day of the nonstop 24-hour shift, I almost broke down. I was so close to throwing my hands up and turning on the TV. And I realize, this is it, this is the reason I started watching more and more television to begin with. The kids are too young to leave on their own, it's too much trouble to take them over to their grandparent's home, and it's too costly for a babysitter. So my escape was to become intimate with the lives of those on television. Fiction or reality. In fact I started watching The Office (favorite show in the world) because when it first aired I was at home with three babies; and it was so much like a job I once had (factory and all), that it was like I was at work, except at a much cooler and funnier workplace, and I was drawn into it.
There is a little boy who is fairly new to our neighborhood who keeps wanting to come into our home. I told him a number of times that I didn't know his mother and therefore couldn't accept that responsibility. Well yesterday he went and got his mother, she told me he said, "Mom you have to come, she won't let me in until you come over!" Even she was seeking a break, and if all she needed to do was to walk a few hundred feet and shake hands, she was going to do it. In the past all I needed was the remote control.
But I haven't given in yet, and believe me I'm fighting hard. First I told myself that I hadn't factored in out-of-town travel and therefore the contract with myself was null and void. Then I thought about just watching TV and lying about it. Then I told myself to just give up, who cares whether I watch TV or not? But there's a reason I decided to take a break from all kinds of visual stimulants, which--I had to remind myself--could have been done anyway without blogging about it. But I guess I knew somewhere in the recess of my mind that it would be a challenge and knew I needed accountability.
Here's to not giving in.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Day 7
I don't miss television; this is not to say that I am not aware of it, or that sometimes I don't almost fall into the same patterns of wanting to plop down in front of it, kick my feet up, and be entertained by it. It is say that I don't miss it. There are no shows that I'm itching to catch up on, no knots in my tummy because this happens to be the time my favorite show is on, no wishing that August would hurry up and be over already so I can get past this personal undertaking.
I still haven't folded clothes or put them away. I keep washing them, and we're forced to sift through clean bags for something to wear. But I'm at the point where I don't associate clothes with TV anymore; truthfully we spent a large part of this weekend out of the house so it couldn't get done. But I have a feeling that tomorrow when I finally tackle it, I'll get through it a lot quicker than I have during my TV-watching/folding days.
I still haven't folded clothes or put them away. I keep washing them, and we're forced to sift through clean bags for something to wear. But I'm at the point where I don't associate clothes with TV anymore; truthfully we spent a large part of this weekend out of the house so it couldn't get done. But I have a feeling that tomorrow when I finally tackle it, I'll get through it a lot quicker than I have during my TV-watching/folding days.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Day 6
Every Saturday for, minimally, the last four years, it's been a ritual to get up (late) and make pancakes. Those were the times that I would turn on the TV and watch my HGTV (or other recorded program) until I was finished with all the batches. I usually was done around noon. Today was different. By 8:45 the entire family was out of the house. And by 1 pm when we returned, I realized how much had been accomplished. I was amazed at the fact that any other Saturday I would have just begun eating my breakfast (it would be the kids' lunch).
What's amazing to me is that this continues to be an August of change. I'm not suggesting that 'having no TV' caused us to rise early and leave the home (music lessons were usually on Saturday mornings); I am saying however, that once we got home, having no TV to sap our energy, having no TV to distract us, having no TV to infringe on our interests had a impact on some part of our day.
My husband and I are working on a collective project together. My kids made their very first movie (I have no idea what it's about, even after sitting throught it, but the joy it gives them to sit and watch it is well worth the confusion). And I continue to think of alternate (usually creative) ways to spend what little "down time" I have.
What's amazing to me is that this continues to be an August of change. I'm not suggesting that 'having no TV' caused us to rise early and leave the home (music lessons were usually on Saturday mornings); I am saying however, that once we got home, having no TV to sap our energy, having no TV to distract us, having no TV to infringe on our interests had a impact on some part of our day.
My husband and I are working on a collective project together. My kids made their very first movie (I have no idea what it's about, even after sitting throught it, but the joy it gives them to sit and watch it is well worth the confusion). And I continue to think of alternate (usually creative) ways to spend what little "down time" I have.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Day 5
"But, in yourself, you said that you would write...and for once it would be written by someone who knew what he was writing of. But he would never do it, because each day of not writing, or comfort, of being that which he despised, dulled his ability and softened his will to work so that, finally, he did no work at all."
--The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Ernest Hemingway
I read this and thought how appropriate I should come across these words at a time like this. I have experienced that softened will, and to the point of doing no work at all. I can't say how many times I've uttered the phrase, "The kids are home so I can't concentrate enough to write." How often I've thought, I should probably go exercise, but it's going to rain so I might as well finish watching this show...How frequently I wanted to start or finish a project but the comfort of procrastination held me captive (after all if you don't try you don't fail).
So I realize now that I am that character Mr. Hemingway so astutely wrote about. And he underscores for me the reality that delaying, or excuses, or TV watching, all lead to the same thing: no work being done.
--The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Ernest Hemingway
I read this and thought how appropriate I should come across these words at a time like this. I have experienced that softened will, and to the point of doing no work at all. I can't say how many times I've uttered the phrase, "The kids are home so I can't concentrate enough to write." How often I've thought, I should probably go exercise, but it's going to rain so I might as well finish watching this show...How frequently I wanted to start or finish a project but the comfort of procrastination held me captive (after all if you don't try you don't fail).
So I realize now that I am that character Mr. Hemingway so astutely wrote about. And he underscores for me the reality that delaying, or excuses, or TV watching, all lead to the same thing: no work being done.
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